Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The GI's were restless not snug in their beds
While visions of war games danced in their heads.

The VA had asked John to help them select
The men who'd be safe and not be a wreck,
Could go out on their own, find their own place,
Keep others inside for things they couldn't face.

Where could they put them, beds were so few?
What could be done for then, nobody knew.
They had to decide for the good of them all,
So profiles were hung on the hospital wall.

Gittinger got there, went straight to his work
Checked all the profiles then turned with a jerk.
Blocks, digits and puzzles he had in his pack
It looked like a peddler just opening his sack.

And in a twinkling they heard on the desk
Marking and scratching of each little test.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature graph, ten scores at the rear.

He tested the guy with the crookedest nose
Came up with the reason for all of his woes.
There was still another whose pattern the same
They fit together so he called it by name.

Down at the hospital there arose such a clatter
He found something he knew, could be the matter.
They need compensations, get rid of their U's
Counsel them this way to douse their short fuse.

To him it looked good, he felt like a Freud
Big smile on his face he was so overjoyed.
He said to the boss I've got what you need
If this test is real we've planted a seed.

If an R turns toward F and an E to an I,
Its much too much pressure for this kind of guy.
R is too rigid but F is not he,
He's in the middle, doesn't know who to be.

It was the old Wechsler but scored PAS
Oh, what a riddle, it looked like a mess.
Wechsler measured how smart, was highly rated,
John used the same test but his scores were soon weighted.

He wrote not a word, it was all in his head
No one else knew it, the word must be spread.
As theories that before this seemed would just die,
This one really ought to mount to the sky.
He flew to the Orient and tested the Japs
To see if in their world, would they fit perhaps?

Then Phyl with her shorthand and John with his pipe
Settled down at the desk and were ready to type.
Mary Frances too, with support, gave her soul
To help get it on paper for a PAS goal.

Typing a plus or a minus or prime
Behind E I R F A U C took her some tine.
It was translated without bias again and again
In other languages to fit all other men.

And then for the government, those in the know
He gave a lecture in DC, assessing our foe.
He tried to explain it, it was very confusing
And they had to listen to more of his musing,

Mao could be an R and Nixon be an F
So teach Nixon to see this, else he act deaf.
For Mao's rigid plan, t'would be hard to agree
Unless he would know the person He'd see.

Over the years he worked hard on selections
Of men to be hired, and even defections.
Then the time had come to rest and go slow
He said to the others, I'm tired now you go.

More rapid than eagles his cohorts they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
Now, Heyman, now Saunders, Dick York and Rodd
Malcolm, McGlaughlin, we'll meet at Cape Cod.

To put this together so people can use it
Before it's too late or surely we'll lose it.
The meetings's were great and proved it was right
As we heard him exclaim "My retirement is in sight".

There is no way for this story to end
While human beings need help and a friend,
And the world will find out PAS is the key.
And there never may be another Freud like John G.